Are little boys being increasingly abused by men?
Rhapsodysinger , India: Mar 12 2008
Made Popular Mar 12 2008

indian kids

The Christian Brothers, a global Catholic Religious Congregation running orphanages and elitist schools worldwide, had to pay huge amounts in damages in Ireland, Canada and Australia. They were accused of sodomizing orphan boys under their care. In Australia they were accused of forming sex-cartels where one Brother informed other pedophilic Brothers about which boys were soft targets. This is not a phenomenon confined to the developed world or to only those Catholic Brothers. This case just shows that often those whom kids trust explicitly are harming and destroying their lives. Pinky Virani’s Bitter Chocolate remains the best study for the layman till date on the problem of child abuse in India. But the book is skewed towards abuse faced by girls. The abuse of boys does not receive much media attention but is tragically rising in our society. The New Media can correct this.

I have a posting here, about how to recognize whether your son is being abused. I have changed names wherever I have felt it necessary.

Case I

Ten year old Prakash is a beggar at Howrah Station, the main railway station connecting Kolkata to India. He cleans the floors of railway compartments and then begs for his rupee or so. He is a confirmed ganja (a potent hallucinogen) addict. He has acquired the habit from a senior beggar who pimps him for truck-drivers and coolies coming to the station. He refused to go with me to a refuge-home for young boys run by a Religious Order in the vicinity. He said there the conditions are worse and at least here he had freedom and his ganja. This was about three weeks ago, my efforts to trace him now has failed.

Case II

Biswanath Oraon, a boarder at a senior secondary school, was kidnapped by Naxalites in Purulia district, West Bengal. He was taken to Jharkhand where he was trained in firearms’ operations. At 13, he has run away from the camp and has been given shelter by the Jharkhand Government. Oraon receives regular counseling. Part of his past that he has to deal with is the sexual abuse he received from a senior Naxalite leader. The fear is so overwhelming that Oraon stays in a girls’ hostel and is counseled by a lady psychologist. He trembles to come in front of men or other boys.

Case III

Vivek, the only son of a well-off working couple is no longer willing to go to school. He is suddenly flunking English and History. Teachers at school found his sudden silence exasperating. Vivek is taken to a psycho-therapist in Kolkata. The old lady starts her sessions with him and then one day the truth dawns on all. Raj uncle, his private tutor, has been abusing him for sometime now. Raj teaches English and History to Vivek and also abuses him. Raj is serving a jail sentence now. But Vivek is irreparably damaged.

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Researching for this article I have come across adult women abusing small boys. That too is heinous but for brevity’s sake I highlight only the plight of little boys being harmed by men.

Social scientists are of the opinion that as taboos against gay relations in India are becoming increasingly lax, and as chat room-predation increases, we shall see an increase in such violence. Also any basic psychology primer on child-abuse brings up a startling fact to the fore: pedophiles are incorrigible. We just need to hunt them out and make sure that they no longer have access to children. Unfortunately, that does not happen and our laws are too lax. Once, a much esteemed Christian Brother told this writer what should be done to those who perpetrate such crimes: they out to be neutered and made a public spectacle. It sounds barbaric but then what pedophiles are doing to kids is bestial and demands the law of the jungle.

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3 Stars
Arjun
NCR, India
Hey commendable work, rhapsodysinger.
You have written a hard-hitting post which takes off the mask of humane from the society and presents the true picture.

It would benefit enormously if you could give some information regarding what makes one a pedophile. And also, if possible, please do try to lessen the blame on homosexuals which have become involved in this imbroglio.
1 Stars
Eyal
Jerusalem, Israel
Excellent article my friend.
Instablogs is going to be favorite news site from now on.

Great stuff.
1 Stars
Shira Dukiyum
Jerusalem, Israel
I have to say, I agree with your last statement! Actually, I agree with the whole article - its very well written, and I’m pleased to see that its an issue that is being talked about. The degree to which sexual abuse can ruin a person’s life is immense.

If you’ll permit me, I thought I’d try to answer Arjun’s question. A pedaphile is an adult who sexually abuses, manipulates, coerces, etc. children into sexual acts.

As for blaming homosexuals - I want to emphasize that lessening this myth is really important, not only for all the harmless homosexuals out there, but for protecting our children as well. Gay people and straight people commit child abuse in about the same percentages. Abuse is not a sexual act, it is an act of power - and sexuality has little to do with it. Many straight men still molest boys. Its important for parents to not assume that because someone is straight they are safe for their kids to be with. Additionally, a common reaction among boys who have been abused is homo-phobia, and fear that they themselves are gay.
1 Stars
Sanyog
Chennai, India
You have penned and portrayed dark side of society beautifully in your words. I found case II is so horrible. Every child needs good care, you have opened our eyes. Parents should keep an eye on every individual the kid meets daily.
1 Stars
Chandni
Allahabad, India
The government of India had published a survey report last year revealing more than 53% of children in India are subjected to sexual abuse. Most of them don’t report the assaults to their parents. Relatives and individuals known to the child were mostly found to be the perpetrators of child sexual abuse.
1 Stars
Raquel
Arlington, United States
I am the Social Worker that worked with the child victims of this case, and I must say it is absolutely devastating what happened to these children.

Child sexual abuse is not a problem of a specific country, but the entire planet. Child sexual abusers can make the child extremely fearful of telling, and only when a special effort has helped the child to feel safe, can the child talk freely.
1 Stars
Sonu
Thiruvananthapuram, India
Parents should believe children when they tell you they have been sexually abused in school or home. Ask your children to avoid physical contact with anybody, be it servant or any family member. Step in when your children show signs of discomfort about being held or hugged by a relative or family friend. Children should feel that they have choices of not being touched, kissed, or picked up if they don't want to be.
1 Stars
Avneet
Manchester, United Kingdom
We should learn how to teach our kids in the family about sexual abuse. It should not be a mere lecture. Women in family should make it part of a natural conversation while they are cooking, gardening, washing dishes, going for a walk.
1 Stars
Arefa
Kottayam, India
Avneet, you are right but let me tell you that children can't remember everything you tell them about sexual abuse from one conversation. You should talk to them frequently which helps them absorb the information you give them when they get older.
1 Stars
Ketul
Jamshedpur, India
It's important that parents and adults must learn that children are not property, that they have rights too.
1 Stars
Farhan
Islamabad, Pakistan
The situation is worse in India where parents are often reluctant to accept sexual abuse of children involving family members is almost always hushed up.
1 Stars
Mark
London, United Kingdom
Almost 19 per cent of the children population of the world lives in India. More than one-third of India's population is made up of children below 18 years of age and at least 40% of these children are in need of care and protection to save them from Child abuse. India is the nation at danger.
1 Stars
Yash
Bhopal, India
India is a signatory to different international laws on the protection of children, but on the front of implementation of these laws, Government loses will-power.
1 Stars
Vinit
Mangalore, India
It's tough to find proper data for child abuse in India and what the reported incidence we get might be the tip of the iceberg. Domestic violence is common across the country. India has the largest number of child laborers and most of them involved in the rural areas. Most cases of abuses goes unnoticed and unreported because of the innocence of the victim, and insensitivity of the investigating and the law enforcement agencies in such cases.
1 Stars
Souransu
Calicut, India
What is the future of such street children? Who are there to care such kids when India has less numbers of child care NGOs and the government is doing nothing in this direction.
1 Stars
Bhagaban
New Delhi, India
So the popular dictum will be ‘Child is no more father of God’.
1 Stars
Well, to sort of tackle some of the issues raised by some of you here:

Child abuse is so tricky and hateful because sometimes kids do not know or understand that they are being abused. The abuser has tremendous power over the abused and everything is just hushed up. & very few people can take the shame that comes upon a family when a near and dear one is implicated. I firmly believe that pedophiles should be castrated...u know pedophiles are addicted to abusing kids and they do not stop till they are put in jail...
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